Sometimes, it's good to be stupid :)

i shouldn't online,seriously.
HAHAHAHA.
i saw things that i didn't like, i saw things that i cared but i have to act like nothing is going weird.
im going to be a goooood actress one day, if i can make it.
i really hope that i can be, just for this matter.
then you will be happy, i will be...... anything ;)

these days, i cannot sleep well every night.
i try to find something to distract myself from that matter, and yet each time it comes to night time....
everything returns to zero, again.
what actually annoyed me? what actually makes me feel like im going berserk? what actually i care..in my deep heart???

finally, i got the answer last night.
credits to my bendan friend for consoling me until late in midnight, 3am.
and i nearly let him be scolded by his dad because of using house phone to listen to my sadness.
hahahahhaa.
i really do appreciate your every words that get me to a more relax state. thanks. thanks. thanks...

i don't know whether i can make it or not, changing myself or what.
but i would just try very hard to do it, no matter how much effort i got to do.
i just can't afford to feel depressed anymore on those sucks matter.
i don't deserve all those sadness, right? heeee.

maybe i can laugh, i can smile all the time.
but whether it is from my true heart, i don't know.
from now on, im just willing not to know everything, just look into the person's eye and tell that person, i really don't want to care anymore, i just want us to be happy ever after.
and.. i will try my best to release myself from that stupid circle.
im just getting myself round and round over the same place. maybe it's really enough.

today, i found a place that i can totally forget about everything and after that, i regain my self-confidence, without those things stuffed in my mind.
that is my school's music room, for choir practice. hahahaha.
i found too much satisfaction when i have successfully taught a person to sing out the song correctly.
i found that i meant to be appreciated, i meant to be happy, i meant to have my own world.
why must i trap myself inside that small little circle?
i should step out from there and get a new lease of life.
i worth it. I WORTH IT! 

but to get those stuff away from mind, i do really need some time to mend myself.
im not a supergirl that can delete everything from my mind in few hours' time.
but i will try hard to mend it as fast as i possibly could, or else i will really go insane one day.
hahahahaha.

no more tears, no more sadness, i deserve to have a good sleep and happy life! 


sometimes, it's good to be a stupid. :)